I feel like my memories aren't my memories, my thoughts feel like their influenced by some outside force, I can't remember my grandma's face, I can't remember my dad's voice, I can't remember the last time I genuinely enjoyed living, this sounds so goofy and cringe and made up and something's clawing at me to delete it and keep going on with this in my head but I can't, anyone else ever get weird dreams about their family doing terrible things [especially relatives they're close to], anyone else having dreams of escaping situations only to wake up in anguish to find out it was merely an illusion, anyone else have a low will to anything now because of certain relatives, anyone else have relatives who say "take pride in how you look/do you want people to think your a heathen" and then those same family members wonder why you're so self-conscious and when you tell them it's because of what they said they say "Oh yeah, sure, it's my fault now", anyone else wanna do anything to leave yet you have attachment issues and when you were going to leave you had a panic attack, anyone else just slowly giving up on life? Feel free to vent here, there are some people like me who get disgusted/uncomfortable when they receive pity so if you see someone vent, don't pity them. If you're fine with pity just put ":,P" in your comment. Do not pity me, please and thank you, The Black Wraith out.